As both a parent and a school administrator, I often stand at the intersection of two worlds. At home, I want my own kids to laugh with their friends, make mistakes, learn from them, and discover who they’re meant to be. I remember what it felt like to be young, testing limits, eager for freedom.

At school, though, my role shifts. Families trust us with their children every day, and our responsibility is to create a space where learning happens, relationships grow, and students feel safe and respected. That means setting clear expectations — even when those expectations feel stricter than some would prefer.

Over the past few weeks, several parents have asked why we’ve been so firm about our updated cell phone policy and dress code, particularly when it comes to very baggy pants for both boys and girls. The question usually comes with genuine concern: Aren’t they just kids? Don’t they need space to be themselves?

I understand that concern deeply. Kids do need room to breathe. Adolescence is a time to try on different versions of yourself, to figure out where you fit, to build confidence. But freedom without boundaries rarely leads to the healthy growth we want for them. It’s our job to provide the structure that keeps them safe while they figure it all out.

What I’ve Seen as an Educator

When I first started teaching, I believed most rules were about compliance. Over the years, I’ve learned they’re really about creating the conditions where students can thrive.

Take phones, for example. When devices stay in backpacks or lockers during instructional time, students talk to each other, focus on lessons, and connect with the people right in front of them. When phones are constantly buzzing, kids get pulled into a world that is bigger, faster, and often harsher than they can handle in the moment. Removing that temptation helps them stay present.

The same is true for dress code. Most students dress appropriately, but baggy pants and oversized clothing sometimes create safety risks — from tripping hazards to the possibility of concealing items that don’t belong on campus. A clear dress standard doesn’t just prevent problems; it also sets a tone of respect and responsibility.

Supporting Growth, Not Stifling It

Rules don’t have to be heavy-handed. In fact, the best ones come with explanation, consistency, and compassion. We want students to understand why we ask them to put phones away or follow a certain dress guideline. When they see that these measures come from care, not control, they learn an important life lesson: healthy limits make freedom possible.

Adolescence can feel messy — for kids and for parents. Young people are learning to navigate friendships, academics, sports, social media, and everything in between. They need adults who provide a steady hand, especially when the culture around them often celebrates boundary-pushing for its own sake.

A Community Effort

I know not every family will agree with every detail of our policies, and that’s okay. Thoughtful conversation is part of a healthy school culture. I welcome feedback, questions, and dialogue about how we can support students together.

But ultimately, we have to keep sight of our shared goal: to prepare students for a world that expects them to focus, work hard, show respect, and make safe, wise choices. That preparation starts here, with clear standards and a commitment to hold them gently but firmly.

Looking Ahead

When students know what’s expected — and why — they flourish. They laugh with friends, create art, excel in sports, tackle big ideas in class, and discover strengths they didn’t know they had. They learn that structure isn’t the enemy of self-expression; it’s the foundation that allows it to grow.

So, yes, our cell phone policy is firm. Yes, our dress code, including limits on very baggy pants, will stay in place. We don’t make these decisions lightly, or to limit individuality. We make them to create the safest, most respectful environment for every student.

That’s the kind of school I want for my own children — and for yours. 

And it’s a goal worth standing firm on.

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