Sleeping in is not a character flaw. It’s not laziness. It’s not poor planning. It is a cosmic law, etched into the fabric of existence—right up there with gravity and Wi-Fi never working when you need it most. No one escapes. One day, like Thanos promised, it will happen.

The circumstances vary. Sometimes you forget to set your alarm. Other times, you hear it, but your brain—half asleep and running on caveman logic—decides, If I ignore this long enough, it will stop existing. (And it does. Until your boss calls.)

Then there’s the snooze button: the seductive little liar that whispers, just five more minutes. You trust it like a politician, and like a politician, it betrays you. Five minutes becomes thirty, and suddenly you’re brushing your teeth while holding a Pop-Tart and asking the ceiling, “How is this my life?”

When you finally stumble into the world, you face the fallout. Excuses become performance art—traffic was bad, my car wouldn’t start, or the boldest choice of all: honesty. Yeah, I overslept. Brutal. Respectable. Career-limiting.

Breakfast is the first casualty. The balanced meal you imagined—eggs, toast, maybe some fruit—is gone. Instead, you’re left with two choices: a stale granola bar from 2019, or coffee strong enough to dissolve a spoon. Either way, your stomach will punish you by 11 a.m.

But here’s the thing: no matter how many times you vow Never again—to set three alarms, to go to bed earlier, to finally “be responsible”—the universe laughs. Because it knows. One day, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week, you’ll sleep in again. Not because you want to. Not because you planned it. But because destiny demands it.

You’ll leap out of bed, hair doing interpretive dance, and attempt the impossible: compressing a 45-minute routine into four. Showers skipped. Outfits regretted. Breakfast negotiated. You leave the house praying no one notices the sock situation, knowing full well everyone will.

And here’s the truth: it doesn’t matter if you’re a student, an employee, a parent, or a king on a throne of lies.

Sleeping in is inevitable. Dread it. Run from it. You can fight it, but you can’t win.

Trust me, I know. It’s happened to me three times since Friday.

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