Tag: eating

  • What’s Missing?

    I’ve never considered myself much of a chef. I don’t julienne. I don’t chiffonade. I don’t make foams, reductions, or anything that requires tweezers.  But a cook? Now that’s a title I’d proudly wear. When I’m cooking, I really only have one goal; Make enough food that everyone leaves the table full, preferably smiling, and…

  • The Bottle Brigade

    The Bottle Brigade

    There’s an unwritten law about backyard grilling that no one ever explains, but everyone somehow understands: the beer bottles will eventually line up. It starts innocently enough. A man steps outside with purpose. He’s carrying tongs like a surgeon carries instruments. The grill lid opens with ceremony. Charcoal crackles. Flames rise. Somewhere in the distance,…

  • Operational Necessity

    As a kid, I had a huge appetite. Historically speaking, most teenage boys eat more than their apparent capacity would suggest. Me? That has always been true—at pretty much every age. Even now. Though I will admit, these days it makes me less aerodynamic and decidedly more sluggish. I’ve been asked how I can eat…

  • The Coffee Made Me Do It

    I need to come clean. I didn’t mean to overindulge. Honest. No one ever wakes up and says,“Today feels like a ten–Reese’s kind of day.” And yet… here we are. It started with coffee. Because coffee is the gateway. Coffee whispers things like,“You deserve a little treat.”“It’s basically breakfast.”“Chocolate pairs beautifully with me.” And who…

  • Docket #021626: The Snack Accords v. The Traje De Charro

    Your Honor, members of the jury, and all snacks and foods present by association: I submit to this court that I am not at fault. That I have always acted in good faith. That my interactions with food — and snacks, in particular — have been reasonable, measured, and entirely in accordance with accepted snacking…

  • Cooking: the world’s most delicious dehydration project

    Did y’all know that cooking is basically just strategically drying your food to a preferred edible status? That’s it. That’s the whole operation. We’ve spent centuries building cuisines, writing cookbooks, and inventing culinary arts, but at the end of the day, we’re just negotiating with moisture. Ever notice how we describe our food like it…