A Magical Tale of Hope, Courage, and Absolutely No One Putting Their Phone Away

7:42 A.M. — Opening Number: “A Whole New Day”

The sun rises over campus. Birds chirp. Students arrive. Our ADMIN stands majestically at the front gate, coffee in hand.

ADMIN:
🎵 A brand-new day, a brand-new start,
Young minds to shape, young lives, young hearts!
We’ll learn! We’ll grow! We’ll reach the sky—

STUDENT, arriving 23 minutes late:
“Hey, when’s lunch?”

ADMIN:
“…you just got here.”

STUDENT:
“Yeah, but what time is lunch?”

🎵 And somewhere deep insiiiiide meeee…
Something quietly diiiiiies… 🎵

8:16 A.M. — “You Can’t Make Me”

A defiant freshman stands center stage. Wind inexplicably blows through their hair.

TEACHER:
“Please sit down.”

STUDENT:
🎵 You can tell me where to go,
You can tell me where to sit,
But I’m fourteen years old now,
So I basically know SH—

ADMIN:
“NOPE.”

Record scratch.

STUDENT:
“Can I call my mom?”

ADMIN:
“Absolutely.”

STUDENT:
“…Actually, never mind.”

🎵 You CAN make meeeeeee… 🎵

8:53 A.M. — “Bathroom of Dreams”

Three freshmen hide in a bathroom stall instead of going to Biology.

Soft blue lighting.

Fog rolls across the floor for absolutely no reason.

STUDENT #1:
🎵 Out there is mitosis…
Out there are cells…
But here inside this bathroom,
No one gives us worksheets or yells… 🎵

STUDENT #2:
“Dude, somebody’s coming.”

ADMIN enters.

ADMIN:
“Gentlemen.”

ALL THREE:
“WE WERE USING THE BATHROOM.”

ADMIN:
“For forty-seven minutes?”

Long silence.

STUDENT #3:
“…I had Taco Bell.”

Orchestra swells sympathetically.

9:31 A.M. — “My Child Would NEVER”

The doors burst open.

ANGRY PARENT:
🎵 My child would NEVER disrespect a teacher!
My child would NEVER tell a lie!
My child said everyone else was doing it,
So clearly THAT’S the reason why! 🎵

Behind the parent, their child is visible through the office window giving another student the middle finger.

ADMIN:
“Ma’am…”

PARENT:
“That’s just how he communicates.”

🎵 MY CHILD WOULD NEEEEEVERRRRRR! 🎵

Thunder. Lightning. Key change.

10:04 A.M. — “P.E. Has Fallen”

Cut to the gym.

There is screaming.

Someone is running the wrong direction.

A ball flies past the camera.

Whatever activity the PE teacher originally planned has collapsed into complete societal breakdown.

PE TEACHER:
“STOP THROWING IT AT EACH OTHER!”

STUDENT:
“THAT’S LITERALLY THE GAME!”

PE TEACHER:
“NOT LIKE THAT!”

ADMIN slowly backs out of the gym.

🎵 There are battles we must fight…
There are wrongs we must make right…
But whatever’s happening in P.E…
Is somebody else’s problem todaaaaaay… 🎵

10:38 A.M. — “A Masterpiece Called Kevin”

Art room.

A student is holding a paintbrush.

Another student is standing perfectly still.

Half his face is blue.

ADMIN:
“…why are you painting him?”

ART STUDENT:
“It’s a mural.”

ADMIN:
“He’s a person.”

ART STUDENT:
“Art challenges boundaries.”

KEVIN:
“I said he could.”

ADMIN:
“Kevin, you have an entire blue shoulder.”

KEVIN:
“I know. It’s fire.”

🎵 BEAUTY HAS NO CANVAAAAAS! 🎵

ADMIN:
“Apparently.”

11:03 A.M. — THE VILLAIN SONG

The lights go dark.

A single notification sound echoes through the auditorium.

DING.

Every freshman simultaneously reaches into a pocket.

The orchestra begins ominously.

“BUT I WASN’T EVEN ON MY PHONE”

ADMIN:
“Put the phone away.”

STUDENT:
“I wasn’t on it.”

ADMIN:
“I am currently watching you use it.”

STUDENT:
“I was checking the time.”

ADMIN:
“There is a clock directly above your head.”

STUDENT:
“My mom texted me.”

ADMIN:
“Put it away.”

STUDENT:
“It’s an emergency.”

ADMIN:
“What’s the emergency?”

STUDENT:
“She wants to know what I want from Starbucks.”

Suddenly—

DING. DING. DING. DING.

Forty phones illuminate.

Students emerge from classrooms in synchronized choreography.

🎵 TikTok! Snapchat!
Just one little peek!
I’ve only checked my phone
Seventy times this week! 🎵

ADMIN:
“This class started TODAY.”

🎵 YOU CAN TAKE OUR BACKPACKS!
YOU CAN MAKE US GO TO CLASS!
BUT YOU’LL NEVER TAKE OUR—

ADMIN:
“Hand me the phone.”

Music stops.

STUDENT:
“…Can I call my mom?”

11:47 A.M. — Finale: “Wait… It’s Not Even Lunch?”

The ADMIN walks slowly back toward the office.

The campus burns metaphorically behind him.

One student is being escorted back to Biology.

Kevin is still blue.

An angry parent is composing a Facebook post.

Someone in P.E. has lost a shoe.

A student who arrived seventeen minutes ago is asking whether lunch has started.

Another student walks past filming a TikTok.

ADMIN:
“Phone.”

STUDENT:
“I’m texting my mom.”

ADMIN:
“Of course you are.”

The ADMIN looks toward the clock.

11:47 A.M.

Silence.

He looks directly at the audience.

🎵 We’ve had defiance…
We’ve had lies…
We’ve pulled three children from where the bathroom-dweller hides…

We’ve painted Kevin…
We’ve survived P.E…
I’ve had an angry parent explain adolescence to me…

I’ve confiscated phones…
I’ve heard every alibi…
And now there’s just one question…
As I gaze toward the sky… 🎵

ADMIN:
🎵 HOW…
IS IT…
NOT…
EVEN…
LUUUUUUUUUUNCH?! 🎵

Full orchestra.

Choir.

Fireworks.

Kevin enters, still blue.

KEVIN:
“Hey, can I go to the bathroom?”

ADMIN:
“No.”

INTERMISSION

Act II begins at 12:01.

It is considerably worse.

There’s more waiting at https://xinkblotz.com.
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© 2026 Mariano Velez ~ InkBlotz Press